200 Characters or less: Warning

I am on 48 hours of no smoking (cigarettes). I am trying to live in society but I am also trying not to punch a wall and cry and eat my house. Please bear with me.

I have managed to eat 7 slices of pizza, 1 1/2 lbs of chicken tenders, 4 cans of spagetti-os, 1 Bun Thit Nuong with Pork, 1 papaya salad with shrimp, 10 lollipops,  4 coffees, 2 balls of mozzarella, 5 spoonfuls of peanut butter with chocolate, 4 cookies, 1 cupcake, and 1 1/2 bottles of flavored seltzer. I think that is it.

Fucking cigarette addiction.

Once these intense waves of emotion pass, I will need to exercise. A lot.   

200 Characters or less: Smell

I filled a jug up with water from my kitchen sink. I just opened that jug and the aromas of an indoor swimming pool room escaped into my nose. MMMM chemicals. #icansmelleverythingnow #quittingcigarettes #wearekillingtheplanet #puncheswall

200 Characters or less: Coffee Craving

I went back to Facebook. Only because I want to quit cigarettes. I have been locked in my room for 24-hours and refuse to leave until I feel I am strong enough to say no. For the last two hours all I wanted was a Butter Pecan Iced Coffee with cream, no sugar from Dunkin Donuts. #needsahero #doesDDdeliver ?

Giving Up Facebook For (most of) April: Day Eight: Cigarettes.

It's official. I have lost my mind. I parted ways with some of the projects I was so invested in. It was the world I knew. I know there are new projects waiting for me, but I can't help but feel I lost everything. AND I am doing this all while trying to quit cigarettes. So fuck the world. I hate you right now.

I am the worst person to be around right now. This week I have managed to be a dick to a close friend, my mom, and a few people around me.

Mind over matter. Mind over matter. I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker.

I have become quite a napper. I have slept more this week than I have in all of 2013. I am guessing my body is a dick this week, too.

My friend posted this meme...

I went out a few times, and quickly wished I was home in my room with my pants off, listening to music. Right now, I am not in the mood to listen to anyone's nonsense.

2013, I quit drinking and sex. When I tell people this, they groan and ask why? Because it was getting me nowhere.  I needed a break to figure shit out.

When the New Year arrived, my resolution was HEALTH AND WEALTH.

Next I am quitting cigarettes. They suck. They are expensive. They make me feel like shit. It makes my clothes smell awful, and I don't even want to kiss anyone, because ew.

In 2013 when I was drinking, it was easier to not focus on the smell or taste. But now that I am not drinking, I realized I don't want to touch anyone til I quit. I am tired of smelling like an ashtray.

And the fucking coughing is disgusting. It could happen at anytime, and sometimes it won't stop until my lung projectiles out of my body and smashes against the wall.

So fuck you cigarettes. I am breaking up with you for good. FUCK. YOU.

I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker.
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker. 
I don't smoke cigarettes. I am not a smoker.