200 Characters or less: Warning

I am on 48 hours of no smoking (cigarettes). I am trying to live in society but I am also trying not to punch a wall and cry and eat my house. Please bear with me.

I have managed to eat 7 slices of pizza, 1 1/2 lbs of chicken tenders, 4 cans of spagetti-os, 1 Bun Thit Nuong with Pork, 1 papaya salad with shrimp, 10 lollipops,  4 coffees, 2 balls of mozzarella, 5 spoonfuls of peanut butter with chocolate, 4 cookies, 1 cupcake, and 1 1/2 bottles of flavored seltzer. I think that is it.

Fucking cigarette addiction.

Once these intense waves of emotion pass, I will need to exercise. A lot.   

200 Characters or less: Smell

I filled a jug up with water from my kitchen sink. I just opened that jug and the aromas of an indoor swimming pool room escaped into my nose. MMMM chemicals. #icansmelleverythingnow #quittingcigarettes #wearekillingtheplanet #puncheswall

200 Characters or less: Cigarette Cravings Make Me Want To Cry

It is 1am in the morning. I want a hug, to punch a wall, and cry all at once. I am trying to keep my composure. I am trying. The last craving was at 11pm. I went out once and got a coffee and an e-cig. That was a big step. I ate 2000 lbs of food. I keep finding little distractions. I have to change what I am doing every half hour or so. I got this. I got this. I want to cry.

200 Characters or less: Coffee Craving

I went back to Facebook. Only because I want to quit cigarettes. I have been locked in my room for 24-hours and refuse to leave until I feel I am strong enough to say no. For the last two hours all I wanted was a Butter Pecan Iced Coffee with cream, no sugar from Dunkin Donuts. #needsahero #doesDDdeliver ?

Giving Up Facebook For (most of) April: Day Nine and Ten: APP

Day Nine: 

Rumble

Day Ten:

One of my roommates suggested taking the Facebook app off of my phone. I did. It needed to happen if I wanted to try to think of something relevant to write. Right?

Here I am now writing about how I do not have my FB app anymore. I am strictly using only instagram on my phone. I only run through FB at home in the morning and end of the night mostly for just MassBytes.

Do you want to understand how fucking hard this is for me?

Normally I have my face in facebook all of the time. On the bus or train. Waiting for the bus or train. Walking to the bus or train. Waiting for my shift to start. Waiting for my shift to end. Sitting on my porch.

The stupid app had me controlled in every fucking scenario I was in.

I was hanging out with a friend today after a set, and I counted how many times I wanted to look at my phone to see what was going on around town. I felt like I was missing something. Ok, I didn't really count, but it was at least ten times I went for my phone, looked at the clock, and realized I don't have anything to look at.

I am just living in that moment. Yup.

Nope. Then I had a freaking panic attack and ran somewhere else. This real world stuff freaks me out.

After, I ran to about four different areas shooting pictures. I burnt myself out. I caught my bus. And I recapped the day in my head.

I woke up at 1pm. Went to Dorchester to see DOT RATS. Went to Central Square. Had a burger, and a red bull at MidEast. Flew in and out of MidEast up, down, corner. Caught a bus. Walked home. Said hello to my roommate. Turned my computer on, rushed to facebook after midnight.

Grr.

Giving Up Facebook For (most of) April: Day One

The silence
      Slowly kills me
      Trapped in my head
                Again tonight
There is nothing I can do
         But put a record on

4/4/14

Now, It Is True...

This is probably the most popular meme I've seen. Why did we miss the gym? Effing cupcakes. -Sarah Sparks