I bring this latest composition to you with the reminder that we should never take anything too seriously. This disclaimer comes as any true foodie or chef is sure to scoff at my latest culinary endeavor…involving imitation crab.There I said it. I didn't mean to but it just happened. Somehow in my ritual grocery excursion, overwhelmed with possibilities and delirious from life, this effing fake-o crab really-I’m-fish-protein snuck its way into my cart. You can imagine my disappointment when I realized my error. It’s like going to shack up with someone the first time and finding out they’re the wrong gender. Ouch. However, I’m not the sort of character to return things, preferring to move forward than rewind, so I schemed to make lemonade.
Leary of the ensuing flavors this pseudo-crustacean had to offer, I decided to play it safe and drown it in richness that could make plastic look appetizing. And so my *ahem* crab dip unfolds. I explored multiple recipes, settled on none, and eyeballed the following ingredients together with my fingers crossed:
- 1 lb Crab(ish) Meat
- 6 cloves minced garlic
- 1 ½ c shredded cheese (I mixed dutch and cheddar with a lil’ parm)
- ½ c chopped parsley
- 1 t lemon juice
- ¾ c mayo (don’t be gross and use miracle whip- this dish is maxed out on fake food)
- 1 t hot sauce
- black pepper/ dry mustard/ salt/ cayenne to your liking
Throw these puppies together, stir, and bake in a 350 degree oven for about a 35 minutes. Devoured with some bread or crackers and it’s actually quite lovely. Cheers to adventures in improv cooking!
Hip-hip hooray.
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