I came to the conclusion that squirrels scare the shit out of me. Whenever I am walking down the street and spy one in front of me, hanging out on a fence or on a tree or whatever. I pray in my head for the squirrel to run away. Silently chanting, "run, run, run, run." Then the squirrel does run...runs out of fucking sight! Where did that little bugger go? Then I am paralyzed with the thought of him waiting for me, to jump out and attach himself to my face. I then vision these tiny little claw-hands digging into my cheeks. FOR THE HEAVENS ALMIGHTY, please let me see the squirrel in my sight before I reach the spot he disappeared.
Boom.
I see the squirrel. I see he has moved further away from my walking line. Then I start repeating, "please stay there, please stay there, please, oh, please." I close my eyes; I pass him. My pace turns into a sprint. My mind is screaming. And I finally get away.
Fucking squirrels.
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